Lest we forget

It's been a while... the journey has kept me busy. I've been revisiting old notes, journals, comments and profiles; remembering old days and it's been an interesting retrospective on my personal ideals and views, on who I've been and who I've become. I'm someone else now, someone new, not the same person you've talked before. It was to expect, after all, it's been a while, and standing waters will poison you.  But as the best wines, I get better with age. Maybe you don't remember me as a man of faith, however, when I was here first, I was such. I believed, I believed there was a chance for humanity, that the world could change, for the better, that the reigning mediocracy of the times we've been living could be brought to an end. And you maybe remember my rants.
Then I lost faith. You see, for me faith and hope was strongly linked. You can't have one without the other. Faith "is the confident belief or trust in the truth or trustworthiness of a person, idea, or thing". Hope "is a belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one's life. Hope is the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best". Now, for me they were almost the same 'cus the object of my faith and hope was humanity. 'Cus it's  up to us to make a difference, it's us who shape the world we're living in and build our -and our kids- future. So believing in the trustworthiness of  human beings was believing they would awake and live again and this parody of a society we have built would come to an end for a better world to arise from a race of worthy human beings. That's why I ranted, that's why I became Lucy Phermann, the E-metic, The Accuser, The Enemy. I  wouldn't have done it if I hadn't believed humans could change for the better, that there was actually a chance for change to happen. But then I always found myself thinking: [i]there was a man who had such an impact in human history, it was split in before and after his birth. But what he tried to teach us and tell us has never been heard, for anybody[/i]. Religions built on his name have used his message to manipulate and control people, to hold power. And the average 'believers', who barely have any knowledge about their so called religion, have used it as a mean to deal with their own fears, (the human fear of the unknown, the unknown meaning and purpose of life) and to put barriers and locks in every door and window where the human soul can gaze into God, judging what's wrong and what is right and hating and fighting whoever doesn't fit in their "perfect happy world" view, and denying themselves the chance, nay, neglecting their duty to use their so praised gift of life and soul to explore reality and come to their own terms about it and the God they delude themselves into thinking they know. Man has committed a horrible crime: he has invented a intermediary between truth and himself. A third part to tell him what's true, what to do, what is right or wrong, and how he is supposed to live. He's reduced himself to an automaton. And then we go an complain about how politicians ruin everything, corporations destroy the planet and media sell us lies, sex and violence. But you're still fucking peasants as far as I can see. And then, when I thought this, I would say to myself: "If what the man who had the biggest impact in human history tried to tell them wasn't heard, then they really won't never, ever hear anything". And so, slowly I lost faith in humanity, and consequently, in myself. In my own power as an individual to make something about things, to make a difference. Do we have that? Or are we just replaceable cogs in the machine? I slowly began to give up to the latter. Actually, I think that's we are nowadays, that's what we have made ourselves into. Whose voice means something nowadays? Yours? Mine? We're mute to the world affairs, unable to have any influence in what happens or where are we going, even when we unite our voices in a common cause. Who could stop the Iraq war, for example? And let me quote this from wikipedia:

"According to a January 2007 BBC World Service poll of more than 26,000 people in 25 countries, 73% of the global population disapproves of the US handling of the Iraq War. A September 2007 poll conducted by the BBC found that 2/3rds of the world's population believed the US should withdraw its forces from Iraq. According to an April 2004 USA Today/CNN/Gallup Poll, only a third of the Iraqi people believed that "the American-led occupation of their country is doing more good than harm, and a solid majority support an immediate military pullout even though they fear that could put them in greater danger." Majorities in the UK and Canada believe the war in Iraq is "unjustified" and - in the UK - are critical of their government's support of US policies in Iraq. According to polls conducted by The Arab American Institute, four years after the invasion of Iraq, 83% of Egyptians had a negative view of the US role in Iraq; 68% of Saudi Arabians had a negative view; 96% of the Jordanian population had a negative view; 70% of the UAE and 76% of the Lebanese population also described their view as negative.[345] The Pew Global Attitudes Project reports that in 2006 majorities in the Netherlands, Germany, Jordan, France, Lebanon, China, Spain, Indonesia, Turkey, Pakistan, and Morocco believed the world was safer before the Iraq War and the toppling of Hussein. Pluralities in the US and India believe the world is safer without Hussein"


But how can we do anything, how can we have a voice if we're a bunch of illiterate, self-righteous, assholes who leave others do the thinking for us? Do you think you have a religion? principles of your owns? Look again, where did you get them from? Why do you believe what you believe? Why do you think the way you think and feel the way you feel? Are you truly yourself or just another product of the entities and institutions that regulate our desires and our lifestyles? You just wanna march in an orderly line to feel proud to be one of the beautiful ones. You're not.

We go through this life, in this over-populated planet (don't know how much space is left, I just know there's too many of us) carrying shallow lives, shallow relationships, shallow days. When was the last time something relevant happened in your life? The last time you were fascinated for this crazy, strange thing that happened to us called 'life'? The last time existence shined through you and you felt more that a ball of non-self-replicating-flesh that needs money and to get laid? Humans now are born, raised into the system, sold an Ipod -or the last digital gadget of your preference-, get fucked and die. Just to be replaced by a pig head with a cross hanging around their necks. Well: Fuck that.

The idea of "promoting" anything makes me laugh. Books, music, movies and videogames are usually blamed of promoting hate, drug use or violent behavior. I wonder if this upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia… has instigated anyone to eat their kids. Or if the history books have inspired kids to fight wars in the name of their country and kill and die 'with dignity'. But it really doesn't work like that, does it? You can't really make anyone do anything by conveying a certain message, if it were like that, we'd all love each other, even our enemies. No, it's something more subtle and is in the way this society is structured. It's in the stuff you buy and you don't need, it's in the prejudices they feed you with and the fears they numb you with, and the ignorance you slowly but consistently accumulate.

So I'm here just to say
Merry Xmas.
Insane kisses